As the story goes, in San Antonio, Texas.
Clutching their Dillard's shopping bags, Ellen and Kay woefully
gazed down at a dead cat in the mall parking lot. Obviously a
recent hit---no flies, no smell.
What business could that poor kitty have had here?" murmured Ellen.
"Come on, Ellen, let's just go...", But Ellen had already grabbed
her shopping bag and was explaining, "I'll just put my things in
your bag, and then I'll take the tissue." She dumped her purchases
into Kay's bag and then used the tissue paper to cradle and lower
the former feline into her own Dillard's bag and cover it.
They continued the short trek to the car in silence, stashing
their goods in the trunk. But it occurred to both of them that if
they left Ellen's burial bag in the trunk, warmed by the Texas
sunshine while they ate, Kay's Malibu would soon lose that new-car
They decided to leave the bag on top of the trunk, and they headed
over to Luby's Cafeteria.
After they cleared the serving line and sat down at a window table,
they had a view of Kay's Chevy with the Dillard's bag still on the
BUT not for long. As they ate, they noticed a black-haired woman
in a red gin gham shirt stroll by their car, look quickly this way
and that, and then hook the Dillard's bag without breaking stride.
She quickly walked out of their line of vision. Kay and Ellen shot
each other a wide-eyed look of amazement. It all happened so fast
that neither of them could think how to respond. "Can you imagine?"
finally sputtered Ellen.
"The nerve of that woman!" Kay sympathized with Ellen, but inwardly
a laugh was building as she thought about the grand surprise
awaiting the red-gingham thief.
Just when she thought she'd have to giggle into her napkin, she
noticed Ellen's eyes freeze in the direction of the serving line.
Following her gaze, Kay recognized with a shock the black-haired
woman with THE Dillard's bag, hanging from her arm, brazenly
pushing her tray toward the cashier.
Helplessly they watched the scene unfold: After clearing the
register, the woman settled at a table across from theirs, put the
bag on an empty chair and began to eat. After a few bites of baked
whitefish and green beans, she casually lifted the bag into her lap
to survey her treasure.
Looking from side to side, but not far enough to notice her rapt
audience three tables over, she pulled out the tissue paper and
peered into the bag. Her eyes widened, and she began to make a
sort of gasping noise. The noise grew.
The bag slid from her lap as she sank to the floor, wheezing and
clutching her upper chest.
The beverage cart attendant quickly recognized a customer in
trouble and sent the busboy to call 911, while she administered
the Heimlich maneuver.
A crowd quickly gathered that did not include Ellen and Kay, who
remained riveted to their chairs for seven whole minutes until the
In a matter of minutes the curly-haired woman emerged from the
crowd, still gasping, strapped securely on a gurney. Two
well-trained EMS volunteers steered her to the waiting ambulance,
while a third scooped up her belongings.
The last they saw of the distressed cat-burglar, she disappeared
behind the ambulance doors,........................ the Dillard's
bag perched on her stomach.
Sometimes, God does take care of those who do bad things!
(AND he lets us witness it!)
Song: Original "Cat Strut"
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and Web Page By: Mark C. Phillips
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